last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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