I could make wine with my vomit
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
