You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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