dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
smell my finger.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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