You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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