As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
