Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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