you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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