i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
