So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
