in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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