id be glad to
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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