I am puke
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
