I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
