Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
