Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want to be your penis for a week.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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