hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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