you turned your livingroom into a bong?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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