So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
