i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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