Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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