So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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