beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
