i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
