Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
