I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
