So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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