woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
