But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize