That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
