I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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