Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
