In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
