yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
