The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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