oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
