we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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