her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
A bitchslap is in order.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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