Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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