so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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