This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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