I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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