Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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