Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
