Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize