My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
