Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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