your thong is hanging out like whoa
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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