Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
