He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
