Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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