can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
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