Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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