I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
