I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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