I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
