week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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