his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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