would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
