i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
