I feel like abortions should bother me more
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
