So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
