Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
