I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
